I'm sorry but this post might turn vulgar, but I'll try to tone down a little. I'm in a very bad mood and I'm very tired and I don't have time to study):
Today is such a mfcking bad day. Just being around people pisses me off. Don't know why but it seems like you were trying to be an asshole to me due to whatever unknown reason. I like to think you're jealous but really there's nothing to be jealous about. So I don't know why you were giving me that black-i-cannot-stand-the-sight-of-you face today, and come to think of it, the past two weeks? And i've been trying to be nicer to you the past few weeks because i thought you looked really stressed but then you're starting to get on my nerves because the nicer i treat you the worse you treat me. Maybe i shall just revert to being neutral towards you.
Secondly, I'm socially awkward. hahaha. no really. i don't really like to start conversations or anything and i don't know how to keep a conversation going because i dont really like to talk much because i feel that i will always say something wrong. and seems like it is the case. everytime after i say something, i will regret saying it because i think i sounded stupid and i hate my voice. it sounds super irritating. i don't know how you guys stand it, seriously. and don't come tell me my voice not irritating ah, because you'll be lying and i'll feel awkward and just walk away. ): And now i think im doing a PW project about myself because my PW TG is on low self-esteem teenagers and the characteristics perfectly match what i just said about myself. omg no i am not low self-esteemed. i love myself so much okay! hahah okay im just being weird sorry. ):
Thirdly, i cannot stand how some people think that they can just skive and let others do all the work for them and seriously, if you dont even TRY to cover up your lousy skiving skills, i am NOT going to cover your work for you. Maybe if you tried a little bit harder, i would have done whatever you were supposed to but didnt do for you. And i dont mean to be a bitch but that's just plain _|_. you have test, so do i. you have hw, so do i. hello, im from the same class as you? *rollseye* Whatever, douchebags.
And im really very tired from staring at the screen for so super long. Although the work that i did didnt look like it, I spent like 5 hours on editing WR. cuz i needed to read all the details and come up with a new way to layout the thing, which i re-did a lot of times. And not sure if you guys will ever appreciate it, so if you guys dont like the layout, i think im not going to volunteer to do the formatting anymore. because honestly? IT SUCKS. ): it sucks the life out of you, it sucks the time out of you, it sucks the energy out of you, it sucks the soul inside of you and it sucks the sanity out of you. seriously.
I just feel like curling up on bed and crying and its times like this that i really wish there was someone who will be willing to pick up my call and listen to me cry, then comfort me with a few words. and not someone who will listen to my story and say that i should be more open-hearted blahblahblah. because if you were me, you would have scolded other people for not doing their work, and not grumble to yourself and do the work for them. and im just not the kind of person who scold people, because im afraid that they will talk bad about me in future, even though it may be their fault. idk what to do anymore, i just want more time to study. ):
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