White Bitch, Baby.

06102011

2011-10-06T19:05:00.001+08:00

Have you ever felt so sad that you don't feel like talking?

Have you ever felt so disappointed that it takes courage to cry?

Has the realism of not being able to promote finally hit you, even though you saw it coming?

Stupid or stupid?

2011-09-24T21:07:00.001+08:00

Have been slacking for the past 36 hours. ):

Serves me right if I fail and retain.

Lalalalalala, sing a happy song~

2011-09-23T21:33:00.001+08:00

Let's just say... I'm not gonna get promoted.

Screwed up my econs by doing the 25m question which I totally don't know how to write nor actually know what they are asking for...

And bio was worst with the dumbass chi-square which I got the whole thing wrong. And never did read up on p53. Or enzymes. And I remember just one minute before entering the hall that I was telling pearl, confirm have enzymes question. Like a whole big question on it. Walao. And I didn't study that at all. Throughout the year. LOL. always seem to be able to spot essay question for econs and bio, but always never seem to study for them.

Spotted econs question 3 but never studied for it and that is the one I didn't do hahaha. and was thinking some HIV thing will come out or some DNA replication shyt. Lucky I studied for virus, but I think I mixed it up with influenza TROLOLOL. fuck it.

And sorry Kellie, during exams is the time when my blog and twitter is the most active^^ so I can't do what you said on the paper you gave me today!):

And you guys are so sweet^^ making study packs and motivational notes for us(: it really did help me^^

Laura's notes made me want to really focus while studying cuz I keep getting distracted, and reading kellie's note before econs and bio today made me believe in myself. But after I came out of the hall I'm like, argh dying hahaha. but thanks, really appreciate it^^ <3

2011-09-22T23:29:00.001+08:00

Ugly starts with U

2011-09-22T22:05:00.001+08:00

Bitch starts with a B, baby. Not U.

Don't try to be an assholric bitch and don't try to imitate others. Hate it when people try to learn from others, because why can't you learn from your own mistake? It's time consuming, but it's more effective. Learning from others will only make you weaker. Scolding others will only make you seem strong, but inside, you're weaker than a straw hut against a typhoon.

Not listening to others also makes you seem arrogant, and not to mention make you look like an idiot. But no one's gonna tell you that. Unless they really hate you and don't really care about you.

Lastly, I know you know I know what you're doing. (this probably doesn't make sense, because I don't know what I'm typing). But hell with you, I shouldn't have done what I done 2 years back, and I'm sorry I ever did. Because it frigging hurts right now, what you've done and are doing to me. But I'm gonna pretend that I don't care, because I honestly shouldn't be wasting my time on you. I'm dumb, still am, but I'm like that. Just hope that you'll leave me alone forever. Not just when you feel like it anymore. Don't even bother saying goodbye, because seriously, I dont wanna see your sorry face again. Period.

And if you get angry or slightly agitated or even offended while reading this, it probably means you're guilty and any of the above. Because, yes I do too. So please try to change. (at this point, please refer back to paragraph 3).

Probably just created bad karma for myself, hope I pass promos though~

(:

2011-09-22T12:30:00.001+08:00

Anybody else puts their windows to good use while studying? (:

2011-09-20T22:38:00.001+08:00

Feels like shyt right now.
Shyt as hell.
Stop telling me that you dont want me.
Just leave me alone and let me die.

Stop fucking telling me that you don't fucking want me anymore.

Scared

2011-09-17T23:01:00.000+08:00

I'm scared. Scared that the world is not what it seems, which is probably happening already anyway. What if one day the world that I'm living in for 17 years, has been all a dream in the end? There's like a million things going through my mind right now, actually, at every second in my life.

I think I live my life by fear. Fear that what comes next will be what ends everything I have, fearing that people will see through the facade I put up to bluff everybody, including myself. Sometimes, I think that I'm living someone else's life for them, and where I belong, is somewhere far away, where nobody knows of my existence.

I am constantly afraid that the friends I make are not really my friends, like they don't really want to be friends with me. Sometimes I wonder if they are just talking to me, and being friends with me, and pretending that they care, out of pity. But that would make them a rather generous bunch of people, but it may be true. Sometimes I wonder if they only make friends with me because they were bored of their real friends, and want to get along with retarded people like me. Please don't feel offended if you read this, if you're reading this, it probably means you're not the person I'm referring to.

I'm scared that I can't be what everyone expect me to be. I already am not. My parents are really disappointed in me but I don't know how to change that. Sometimes I just wish that they would abandon me and I would be immune to fear and pain from a very young age. I feel like carbon sometimes; sometimes my parents will treat me like diamond and i'll sparkle in their eyes, yet sometimes they treat me like the carbon soot below a frying wok. I'm still scared that they will decide to abandon me one day, and its the greatest fear I've ever had. Or still am having. Because every year, they will never fail to tell me that I'm adopted. And sometimes I do believe them. Because I'm different from my siblings, and I don't really think like they do. I have really low EQ and IQ and think of the weirdest things in the universe. Some which don't even exist.

I don't know how to say this, but I'm scared of myself too. I'm afraid of what I've become and I'm afraid that it's the wrong thing to become. Most of the time, I just wish that I could turn back time and change how I've grown. I'm scared of what I will become in the future, and tomorrow is too soon.

There's a reason behind every thing I've done, and fear is the one factor pushing me to do them. I go to school because I'm afraid I wouldn't have friends, I didn't shave my head bald because I'm afraid of being judged, I smile at others because I'm afraid they will hate me, I talk to people because I'm afraid they will ask about me, I create my own walls against everybody because I'm afraid they'll see through me. There's a million things to talk about but that's just boring.

I'm afraid of losing my friends, but I don't know how to tell them. I know they're not afraid because there are many more people out there who care about them but they are the only people I have ever trusted and cared for in my life, besides family, and if I lose them, I'm afraid that I won't ever be able to trust others anymore. I used to have a really close friend but now, we're just like strangers on the streets. We don't talk, we don't see each other anymore, and we don't have mutual friends who we talk to anymore. And she was the first one who opened me up to trust others, and I'm grateful for that, she really taught me a lot of things. I don't know if you consider me your closest friend, but to me, you are my closest friend. You're always the first one who I confess everything to, you're always the first one who I look for in a crowd, but I don't really feel it coming from you. I know you have closer friends too, but I just help but feel scared of losing you. I don't want to lose you... ): But I know I'm not exactly he greatest friend to have, so I understand why you're getting close to other people. Even when I am with you, I can feel you far away from me. When I see you getting closer to other people, I'm happy for you but I'm really scared. Just really, really scared.

And sometimes I don't tell you how I really feel, because I'm afraid of hurting you. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to be angry at me. bidlh. ):

GP PAPER

2011-09-16T01:58:00.001+08:00

I am sick and tired): I mean, literally. Just woke up from a seven hour NAP and watched some drama hahaha but I can't bring myself to sit in from of the com to do eom. I'll probably surf the net again): but I'm really tired and don't have the mental capability to do work now!! ):

And I also just slacked off from the econs proj and I'm feeling very bad now): cuz I was NAPPING when they all were working hard on it, and when I woke up to do it they finished it alrdy. Howhowhow):

Haix anyway today was kinda... Idk. I was happy throughout the entire GP papers but right before and after the paper I was very irritated. Is that weird?

Sneeze sneeze sneeze. My brain just experienced orgasm for 3secs.

Hoping my superman will come and find me one day:

Happyshit + analshit

2011-09-14T18:38:00.001+08:00

Hello I'm not studying for promos now and shall post a happy post instead of complaining about stress and promos and goodness knows what.

Hehe so last Sunday I was trying to be hardworking and wanted to try studying alone so I went to KFC(stupid place to study but there was no other place and the library was full) and then while I was studying there I saw this super cute guy(: hehehe ^^ he looks like a Korean but then also looks like a singaporean, but he speaks like an army guy. Okay that was a weird description but he was cute!! So guess what, I couldn't concentrate on studying HAHAHA. and I stared at the people queueing for gongcha. And peeped at the raffles econs notes. It was so bloody good. Okay enough about studying HAHAHA.

Hmm, I bought this shark clips that day too, sho cutex rightz. ^^

Okay I'm done. Gonna watch my drama now~

Ps: the word "mugging" is so overrated. It actually means to rob, okay?

Pps: adding "fml" to the end of your sentence does not make sense. There's more to life than what you're complaining about.

Ppps: yes I'm anal about these two words that people keep using nowadays although I used to use them. I try to refrain from using them whenever I can because yes, they are overrated.

Shitassdistracted

2011-09-12T23:33:00.001+08:00

I wanna play pottermore):
But I guess I'm lucky I didn't register for the early account or else I'll be shitassdistracted now. And stuck to the pc screen the entire night. But I am now watching dramas on my phone. Walao I had the determination to resist from downloading the app until I saw kimbo watching it): then now I'm super distracted by it. Everytime I see my phone I feel like watching my drama): dayummm.

Ohwells, I passed my econs test^^
Actl it's only 6/12 but then, my econs has always been getting a 1-3/12 last semester, so I guess this is an improvement? But I think lht just marked very slack for mine): haix. I need to study now. And do econs hw. And pass gp. And do maths papers. And pass gp. And do bio. And pass gp. And get 5AU to promote. And pass gp.

Lalalalalala sing a happy song
Lalalalalala smurf the while day long~

REVERSIBLE SHAT.

2011-09-05T22:40:00.000+08:00

I HATE REVERSIBLE ARROWS AND CHEM EQULIBRIA.
WHY CANT I FUCKING DO A SINGLE FUCKING QUESTION?!
ISNT CHEM EQUI SUPPOSED TO BE THE EASIEST TOPIC ON THE WHOLE CHEM MENU.
AND MY CHEM IS MY STRONGEST SUBJECT, BY FAR.

why why why im like crying shytballzoftears because of studies and i really hate myself for having no motivation.
i just wished i had friend who i can call to disturb amidst my studying sessions when im feeling stresses, without feeling guilty for disrupting their study time. why why why am i so dependent? there are like tons of people i wish to call but i know they are studying so i cant call to disturb them. im afraid too. and i dont know what to say after saying hello. because if i talk and finish saying what i have to say, i have to say goodbye and then the conversation ends there. i want to call somebody and hear them give me words of encouragement without being harsh, because that's what i need sometimes. bloodyfuck i just want a boyfriend. but i dont want to be in a relationship. no, i want a guy best friend. because guys usually dont need their friends to help them solve problems, i can just listen to their problems and not worry about the solutions. and i dont have to care if they are having PMS because they wont.but i love my girlfriends a lot and i know i cannot leave without them but i just feel very guilty whenever i want to call them BECAUSE of MY problem. i dont like to burden people with my problems. but i know i need help. sometimes, i feel like approaching a counsellor, but i know they'll probably contact my parents or something. and i dont want my parents to know my problems. because they'll feel burdened and they'll be disappointed in me. i just cant compare to my siblings. i have a very low EQ): and sometimes a rather low IQ too. i dont know why they think im smart, when im not. HELLO MUMMY I TRY TO ACT SMART ONLY. why cant you see past my facade and show some encouragement. i think im quite dumb. i AM dumb. i just google alot of shit and regurgitate them out whenever i can to seem smart. why am i depreciating myself now. i need motivation. but somehow, i like to make myself feel pathetic, it makes me feel better... about myself. i dont know why. maybe because when i talk lowly of myself, i feel like there is no expectations from me any more. maybe i just have too high expectations of everything.

and, please call me only if you have problems... about yourself. dont ask me about mine.

Neverland~

2011-09-05T17:49:00.005+08:00

I wish I could meet Peter Pan and let him bring me to Neverland.

I spent my childhood wishing I was older, and now that I'm here, this shyt sucks.

Btw, Jeremy Sumpter was hot as a kid. Still is now(:

because maybe if you stopped dreaming and come back to reality, you can turn that dream into reality.

GP elections

2011-08-29T20:42:00.003+08:00

Heyya! This post is a few days late but I just wanted to write it somewhere...

This year was rather political, in a sense that there was the general elections and the presidential elections and although I'm not really into politics. here's a few words from my heart.

Actually, I didnt intend on posting about the elections AT ALLbecause of two reasons:

1) I neither am interested nor have knowledge of how it works.

2) I don't believe that I can trust a person based on what they choose to show the general public and I do not trust that a single person is able to govern the country fairly.

I don't know how I will vote in 5 years time, but lets see how that goes hahaha.

Anyway, I cried. After reading this blog post.

Although I say I'm not into politics, I still watch the GE and researched on the PE because I believe that they will affect me in one way or another. And because I do love Singapore. And I am under Aljunied GRC):

Okay that aside, I have to rant.

Why the hell would you "deliberately let a dropping pen from a height of 40 cm make the choice" for you. If you DON'T want to vote, cast a voided vote. If you DO want to vote, please, THINK before you vote. Hello, you may be just one individual, but if the people around you do the same thing(i assume they would, seems like living in your area makes people irrational), it would accumulate and cause a change, okay?! Got learn econs or not, individual demand schedule adds up to the market demand curve okay! No offence, but you're as moronic as your action. (: *big wide smile*

Reading that one last sentence really hit me hard and was the thing that hit the spot and made me cry. Maybe looking at how Singaporeans decides to cast their votes was sort of like a preamble thingy, but that sentence was just too much. Not sure why but yeah it did. Because even though I havent been part of any important life-changing election before, having to choose a president for student council and the student councils in our house and not to forget the house capt, was a little challenging cuz I dont really know all of them personally but all their speeches and what they chose to present to us during their "time" in the speech thingy was all persuasive and I don't know who to trust. And I chose not to believe in whatever others had to say about them even if they knew them personally because I believe its my choice. And I wanted to choose a fun house capt(haha only thing which concerned me) but didnt really know who to choose. But then I chose the one whose speech sort of made an impact on me? idk, really. but it wasnt that important, because its not about the country and blah yadayada.

Anyway, I think that we as Singaporeans should vote properly, and those stupid bastards who wrote vulgarities on the box of the team they do not support is just plain bloody stupid asshol-ric. Because it was counted as a vote. You're not feeling so great now are you, moron?

Back to my point, why only one president? So you think you can trust one president to make all the important choices? Then why do you have a counting agent on the table, AND a table chief, AND counting agents from the competing parties? Can't you just allow one person to do it? Because you dont trust that person enough what! You're scared tht the person is biased, so now the president is not biased lah! Pro-PAP leh, not biased my ass. I'm not saying that I am against TT, but the system is just wrong lah. But anyway, i repeat hor incase you never read properly or have selective reading skills, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW POLITICS WORK.

Yeah I think that last paragraph was sort of biased and very opinionated, but whatever I typed it already.

Aiyah but anyway, i missed the gist of my post lah. Too lazy to think properly and type in proper grammar. Plus I am sick. And I need to study. ):

Till before promos,

stay sane <3

kthxbai iloveyouguys.

2011-08-23T22:35:00.003+08:00

Hey pretties. I had a shocking 28 pageviews ytd. okay shocking to me lah haha because hardly anybody knows this blog exists. like maybe i can count with my fingers. well anyway, i need to post something which i forgot what it is so kthxbai.

No nevermind, i shall do some reflection. I've been kinda stupid and dumb and haven really been appreciating the people around me and i think i complain far too much. ): And im complaining about myself now shyt hahaha. nvm. and i love you people around me who care so much for me although i sometimes dont see/feel it, but i really appreciate it. its the little things like that which keeps me going. it's the little things like that which keeps me from cutting myself. hahaha im serious. but partly also because im scared of blood so you see, there is a barrier there. high barrier to entry of the knife into my skin.

okay abrupt ending.

as if the day couldn't get any worse.

2011-08-22T00:11:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry but this post might turn vulgar, but I'll try to tone down a little.

I'm in a very bad mood and I'm very tired and I don't have time to study):

Today is such a mfcking bad day. Just being around people pisses me off. Don't know why but it seems like you were trying to be an asshole to me due to whatever unknown reason. I like to think you're jealous but really there's nothing to be jealous about. So I don't know why you were giving me that black-i-cannot-stand-the-sight-of-you face today, and come to think of it, the past two weeks? And i've been trying to be nicer to you the past few weeks because i thought you looked really stressed but then you're starting to get on my nerves because the nicer i treat you the worse you treat me. Maybe i shall just revert to being neutral towards you.

Secondly, I'm socially awkward. hahaha. no really. i don't really like to start conversations or anything and i don't know how to keep a conversation going because i dont really like to talk much because i feel that i will always say something wrong. and seems like it is the case. everytime after i say something, i will regret saying it because i think i sounded stupid and i hate my voice. it sounds super irritating. i don't know how you guys stand it, seriously. and don't come tell me my voice not irritating ah, because you'll be lying and i'll feel awkward and just walk away. ): And now i think im doing a PW project about myself because my PW TG is on low self-esteem teenagers and the characteristics perfectly match what i just said about myself. omg no i am not low self-esteemed. i love myself so much okay! hahah okay im just being weird sorry. ):

Thirdly, i cannot stand how some people think that they can just skive and let others do all the work for them and seriously, if you dont even TRY to cover up your lousy skiving skills, i am NOT going to cover your work for you. Maybe if you tried a little bit harder, i would have done whatever you were supposed to but didnt do for you. And i dont mean to be a bitch but that's just plain _|_. you have test, so do i. you have hw, so do i. hello, im from the same class as you? *rollseye* Whatever, douchebags.

And im really very tired from staring at the screen for so super long. Although the work that i did didnt look like it, I spent like 5 hours on editing WR. cuz i needed to read all the details and come up with a new way to layout the thing, which i re-did a lot of times. And not sure if you guys will ever appreciate it, so if you guys dont like the layout, i think im not going to volunteer to do the formatting anymore. because honestly? IT SUCKS. ): it sucks the life out of you, it sucks the time out of you, it sucks the energy out of you, it sucks the soul inside of you and it sucks the sanity out of you. seriously.

I just feel like curling up on bed and crying and its times like this that i really wish there was someone who will be willing to pick up my call and listen to me cry, then comfort me with a few words. and not someone who will listen to my story and say that i should be more open-hearted blahblahblah. because if you were me, you would have scolded other people for not doing their work, and not grumble to yourself and do the work for them. and im just not the kind of person who scold people, because im afraid that they will talk bad about me in future, even though it may be their fault. idk what to do anymore, i just want more time to study. ):

inlovewithcameras.

2011-08-14T18:46:00.004+08:00

HELLO IM POSTING AGAIN BECAUSE I HAVE A SUDDEN URGE TO TYPE IN CAPS.

no lah i just had a sudden urge to shop so i need somewhere to relieve the urge.

OKAY SO I AM BROKE. But the main point is that i want to buy this Holga): Yours truly(omg i remind myself of lht hahaha-.-) has been wanting one since she was young but didnt know what was the name of it. Didnt know it was called a lomo camera and didnt know where to get one. And recently I've been wanting one again cuz after playing with my white baby( the instax 7s) and splurging on a black bomb(instax 210), i realized i cannot just point and shoot and snap whatever i feel like taking cuz i is no rich bitch.

SO, LOMOs has the "Don't think! Just shoot." slogan/phrase thingy, which is what i like lah hahaha, And after a long time spent on researching on Holgas, I've decided I want the 135BC on, which gives vignette and uses 35mm film. (: Initially wanted the GFN versions but then realised the point of a lomo is the plastic lens right hahaha. yup, so... I found some chio photos of it! :D

credits to whoever it belongs to :X sorry forgot to save the website down!

The One. that i want. ):

And it's friend, the 15B flash! <3

And probably the shutter cable, if i can find one in physical stores in Singapore. Haven't seen any stores selling it before, please tell me if you happen to know!! :D It's used for bulb mood, which means you can expose the shot for as long as you want! Great for night scenes (;

Haix... If only i could get one...

(Hinthint my birthday in 5 months time whoo. #thickskinned I will love you and be happygirl94 if you get the camera for me! :D )

(edit)

OMG CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT THE MAIN POINT OF THIS POST.

I think i had a Holga when I was young. Or two. Actually, not mine, but one's my bro's and the other's my sis'. My bro had a nice blue one(i think) which disappeared after a while and my sister had a bright pink one. Not sure if it's holga brand but i the way i remembered it, it felt like one!! The texture and look and all.

And i remember thinking it was a fake toy camera and didnt know that it actually worked!! So i went around snapping photos in the house(dont know why i even KNEW how to operate it! just came naturally i guess) and i remember snapping one against a mirror, and the flash was super strong. And I thought it was fake until one fine day, maybe like a few months down the road, I found some photos in our toy cupboard... And I SAW THOSE PHOTOS I VIVIDLY REMEMBER SNAPPING WITH THE "FAKE" CAMERA. And i was like "holy shit that thing is real?!".

HAHAHAHA yeap so... yeah but then afterwards i think my dad didnt buy any more film to put in the camera and I've been walking around taking photos with a non-existent film, always hoping it will work. Come to think of it i remember my dad showing me how to load a film! >.< And i've been wanting to look for that camera for super long(the long lost pink one) but idk where it is now. I think when we moved in 2005, I forgot that it was a working camera and told my mum to throw it out :/ aww man ):

(/edit)

And so since im low on budget, I've decided to buy this lomo first. Based on the photos I saw online, it gives slight vignetting too! (: I want the white one, and hopefully the casing has black linings, not like the pink one shown above :/

So it'll look like this when it's taken out of its casing! So chio right, can use it without the casing too! (:

Okay end of post, #abruptending cuz idk what else to say.

I NEED TO SAVE UP MORE.

BIO SPA TMR.

EOM DUE TMR.

HAVEN DONE EITHER.

NO SLEEP TONIGHT.

WHY AM I STILL BLOGGING.

ILOVEYOU. ♥

NATIONAL DAY

2011-08-09T01:00:00.005+08:00

HIHI im gonna skip the boring reflective post and rant for now and post about HAPPY STUFF! (:

Went shopping after ASPEN on Sun and am super happy! (: Although i spent like super a lot of money already hahaha. Hmm at first was raining at PP so I went to M&S with chuinster. Bought Some snacks for myself and the family, and some for my bro's present. It was still drizzling after that but I just dashed through the rain anyways. Need to get to the busstop or I'll never be able to leave PP! (': #sobraveofme

HAHA but i was hiding under shelter until i know the greenman's coming on soon then i ran up the stairs to cross the road. Turns out the drizzle wasn't as fierce as it looked! (:

So i went down to DG and headed to DIASO at PS. wheeee~ super love that store. it has EVERYTHING. at different times hahaha. Initial plan was to get the B5 ringfile and paper for my econs notes so i dont need to start from the beginning when i do notes. BUT bought these instead.

Blackboard to draw random stuff or aid studying hahaha.

Strawberry plate was too tempting not to buy! Took it while heading towards the cashier and saw some super cute stuff hahaha.

Random stuff on the plate~ Blackboard markers, post-its (imma freak haha) and nail buffer! :D

Oh and this silver pen which you can scratch off the ink to read the hidden words thing. HAHA dont know when i'll ever need THAT but it was cool :D

And bought these notebooks instead. So cute right, got button one! But idk what's it for, and its kinda hard to write with the existence of the button): But it had the slots thing to put small slips of paper, which I LIKE. :P

BEST BUY FROM DAISO. NAIL PLATES!! Now i can paint them with all the different shades.

wait for it...

Popped into Cotton On to looklookseesee and ended buying these. CHIO SHADES CASE. plus purple nail polish.

Favourite chocolate bar from M&S <3

Oh but the real reason to visit PS was to get birthday present for my brother! Which I got. Super ex shirt from so unknown brand. :X Hope he likes it. I always buy shirts for him, cuz idk what else to get him!! ):

TADA! cool right! :D

My favourite is the metallic shades one! And they're all from the Arezia brand. Quality's not bad either! Thicker than some CG and OPI ones. The Etude House one (also shown above) also notbad. :D Don't like TFS one, super diluted and HATE THE CAP. very hard to screw ):

And some patriotic love for National Day! (:

Newspapers prints! From SG newspapers leh HAHAHA. the read ones are supposedly from chinese newspapers but the printing didnt come out well, i supposed its because red is too dark):

Oh well, so much for trying to be bilingual~

2011-08-02T02:13:00.001+08:00

Okay i just thought of what to write here HAHAHA.

it's actually not a nice blog post but there's two :D

one's a reflective post and the other's a rant.

OMFG 30JULY2011 I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS DATE. >:(

LALALA~

2011-08-02T02:03:00.002+08:00

I think im obsessed with being rich.

I mean, i keep thinking I'm very rich and all, when in fact I'm more poor than the beggar on the streets. Maybe.

Keep wanting to buy stuff but then I always have no money!!

Recently spent a bomb on stickers and stationery and random stuff, but they're so cute i cannot stand not buying them!! And I can't leave the shop without buying at least one of the items inside):

Okay, gotta start saving up if I wanna get the Holga 135 GC. Or any of the cheaper cams on top.

nyan nyan nyan.

2011-07-21T06:45:00.003+08:00

honestly stickers are so damn cute(:

and so is rilakkuma! <3

then i went to buy these too hehe.

obsessive sticker user. on the back of my photo bookmark.

the photo bookmark(:

and my grandparents! <3

pasted this photo in my diary <3

and it was taken on my grandpa's birthday celebration! (:

Reminder To Self

2011-07-15T23:29:00.002+08:00

*rant coming up, people who don't care please close the tab now thanks*

This is a reminder to myself and I'm gonna kill myself soon.

I don't understand why I just can't concentrate on studying and why I don't seem to think that A level is important. Okay, it may just be a piece of paper/certificate, but people these days are really judgmental and they DO care if you have that piece of paper or the straight As. Passion alone does nothing.

Also, I need to find an aspiration. I need to find what I want to be/do in future, and how I want my future to be. I can't just sit around all day thinking that it'll bring some awesome career that I like. Although I do know that I want to either A) achieve something on my own(not bound to a company) or B) work as an office lady. Okay, these two are very different but if I'm more career-minded I will go for A, and if I'm more family-minded(provided anybody even wants to marry me) then I'll go for B. I realize that without an aspiration, I won't study or try to achieve anything. Like I've told many people, my last most realistic goal was to get into Dunman High, and I worked really(maybe, not really, since primary school is kinda easy) to get good grades so I can enter DHS. But after I achieved this goal, there's actually nothing on my mind now and I can't seem to focus on getting anything. NEED. TO. FIND.ASPIRATION.

Lastly, I need to freaking lose weight. I'm like some ugly piece of shit man, seriously. I already don't look pretty, then now look like some fat shit, turnoff x E99 man. "There are no ugly women, just lazy ones." Okay whoever said this confirm is pretty/handsome one lorh, say until so easy. Lose weight very hard leh since I love food and my stress reliever is food. ):

Aiyuh if you think that i'm trying to fish for sympathy or whatever right, sorry i am not okay. Already told people who don't care not to read right. Anyway this is to remind myself. ):

HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY JEVIENE! (:

2011-07-11T03:18:00.001+08:00

HEY JUB! This is from me and Jiayim, but the file is too big to send via email or upload anywhere, except file sharing websites! ):

Anyway, hope you'll go download these and watch it!! :D

(just click the blue/green download button and wait awhile then can download alrdy :D )

Sorry for the trouble but yeah, we love you <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.gif
HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY.gif

Merci.

2011-06-29T16:09:00.002+08:00

Binomials suck man. I dont understand a shyt. ):
I am now a semi-pro at APGP. (:

Chem...?

2011-06-29T05:36:00.001+08:00

CHEM IS OVER.
I FRIGGING LOVE CHEM.
(the test sucks)
After starting to study chem, I realised that I actually like the subject): should have started studying earlier right arghhh. ):

Anyway, just started studying maths and I think I'm starting to like it too!!): Before I started studying at 4am, from 12-3am I was thinking:
Mathsandbiocangosucktheirownballs.
(btw this word has officially became a word in my phone dictionary. Automatically. )
And from 4.30-6pm I was watching tv, 6-10pm I was sleeping and 10-12mn I was watching tv again. Cuz I was in post CTs mood): then 12-4am I was using my phone-.-
But after I started to study APGP I thinking kinda like maths. Okay maybe it's just that topic but haha, sucksman. Suckstosuckatmaths.

Rawr.

2011-06-28T02:19:00.000+08:00

Econs is over!(: and kinda sucked at the essay. Okay nvm):

Still at third chapter of chem! And I need to sleep by 3am so I can wake early tmr to continue studying again.

If I can cramp all topics in just one day (<24hours), why didn't I just study earlier and spend 3afternoons to finish studying. Wtf is wrong with me lol. Never learnt my lesson.

Yummy lunchy

2011-06-27T11:12:00.001+08:00

Lunch before Econs paper.
Awesome or what! (:

Back-to-school):

2011-06-27T10:52:00.001+08:00

Back-to-school nail polish!
~~Almost invisible~~

<3

2011-06-26T15:24:00.000+08:00

Superman

2011-06-26T14:44:00.000+08:00

Okay I don't usually like to post pictures of myself alone but this is an exception cuz I wanted to take a photo of my hoodie too hehe.

Anyway! I bought blue and red nail lacquers from etudehouse! (: the only brand I can find that carries the superman blue and red.

Gonna do superman nails this fri right after CTs!! (: long weekend hehe :P

Kthxbye gonna sleep on the bus ride home alrdy.

Distracted again!

2011-06-26T00:58:00.001+08:00

OMG SO DISTRACTED DID THIS SCARE YOU HAHAHA. (:

Someone to hold you close

2011-06-26T00:41:00.001+08:00

Wantedto post this just now but the app wasn't working well so I used another app. Which only allows photos taken in-app.

Okay I'm procrastinating staying econs): still have 3 chapters to go): dang.

Kthxbye shall go fid motivation to study. (:

distracted.

2011-06-26T00:35:00.001+08:00

To bored to study.

someone to hold you close

2011-06-25T16:52:00.001+08:00

tea-freak. <3

Studying = Gaining weight

2011-06-22T00:44:00.001+08:00

Had these last night to make myself study!

Had half of this hugeass chocolate coin from Belgium this afternoon to make myself study!

And was in badmood during dinner time so went to jog for half an hour(:

And gonna have this now to finish first topic of econs!! So gonna gain weight this hols): going bux to study tmr too):

Shopping and nails. Mostly nails. (:

2011-06-19T23:08:00.009+08:00

Woohoo just took one hour plus to take photos to do a semi nail tutorial and post about my shopping loots(: will upload and blog later, when I on my com and when my parents are asleep :/

Here's a sneak peak anyways (:

[/edit]

HELLO. okay first im going to post about my shopping on sat and then do a mini tutorial :D

Bought this at the flea :D finally! (:

And also nail polishes from smocchiezz! <3

Happy much! And also a ribbon ring but it sort of broke off and im too lazy to go fix it so no pix for now!

Now I'm experimenting the OPI shatter! (:

it was $10 @ the flea!

Applying patch-by-patch on the thumb...

Then horizontally on the index...

Then normally on the middle...

And randomly on the ring... HAHA it doesnt really look random but it was in diagonal strokes lah okay!

And lastly, in one shot on the pinky! :P

Now applying Seche Vite's dry fast top coat, which i bought at $10 too.

This step is actually optional cuz i was gonna put matte top coat on it :X

Now applying:

Etude House's Matte Real, @ $8.70. (GSS!)

(GIFs sizes are different cuz i used different platforms to make it. cuz they were being stupid and refused to match the size i wanted): )

To make it dry faster you can drip TFS's FACEit instant dry. I bought this in Medan, Indo so not sure if the SG branches carry them! I didnt put it this time cuz OPI, seche vite and matte real dries really fast(:

So after it dries it looks like that:

Gloss vs Matte

Close-Ups:

Thumb: patch-by-patch

Index: horizontal strokes

Middle: Normal Application

Ring: Random/Diagonal strokes

Pinky: One-shot application

-------END OF TUTORIAL------

CG's Rose with thorns(neon) and OPI's Dating a royal. I thought the CG was red but turns out their roses are pink LOL. but it was a nice pink so nvm. And the blue's a bit dull looking though i haven tried it out yet.

Sunday:

Sunday after ASPEN! haha finally no chem!! and can camwhore(:

-----abrupt ending!-----

(:

2011-06-17T16:01:00.004+08:00

Going out later with k and cousins~
Excited much but have to study now!!

last 3 days...

2011-06-16T22:26:00.003+08:00

m&m's! yumz. yupp studying bio and was feeling bored so i poured them out and lined them out.

then i was being racist. cause i chose to eat the yellows first. i always do that.

skype with bf on the phone! (: haha i think somebody wanted to see this? the shot after this was even cuter! but didnt take it in time): && i wanted to photoshop my unglam face away but too lazy HAHA. and that is my hugeass hand there while taking a screenshot.

&& 4% batt ftw! ._.

went to Cotton on @ bugis ytd after my tuition and bought these @ $2 each! (:

heehee love the LOVE one but damn difficult to wear. or i just haven found the right way to put it on :X oh and i love the metal sound the two bracelets make when they clash into each other ♥

drinking OJ and munching on these now! madlove the matcha waffle but its all gone): parents got it somewhere from japan when they went there in march. omg during the earthquake period somemore! ): was so scaredddd.

anyways, i've been loitering on the web for hours already and haven finish what i wanted to do today, so might not be able to go fleas on sat! ):

and i realized why nobody has been sms-ing me the whole aftnn. it's because i put my phone in airplane mood! (Y) smart-jia. ikr. HAHAHA okay shall check my phone now.

♥

sorry babe~

2011-06-14T00:49:00.002+08:00

talking to my bf now on skype <3

took a screenshot of chuinster but cant post cuz still talking to her and its in my phone.

and i doubt she wants me to post ):

but it was OMGSOCUTE kind can. hahaha.

and omg my phone just died!!

shopping to motivate me to study (':

2011-06-11T18:52:00.003+08:00

hi today was a terrible and awesome day HAHA shall post pix later. :D

[/edit 9.20pm]

disclaimer: boring. and please tag(:
did my nails again! :X

then i took them off and redid them.

this time with matte (:

brown stuff i bought from pop ytd (:

and a new diary cuz my old one got soaked in water from my starbucks tumbler):

and matte topcoat from etude house! :D

and a chio folder (:

today went to BJ with pris and we walked nail polish shops. and i spilled some on my fav shirt): it was new and my first time wearing it! then had a gorrible time trying to get it off and my dad decided to risk it and just use paint thinner. and it sort of worked and the second blotch with he used a hammer with was out completely and the first blotch which i used nail polish remover and baygon with still had a teeny bit of the paint.

no pix cuz i was in a deranged mind HAHA.

went to pop@brasbasah with pris after tuition and bought stickers and pretty postits! was hoping to get more stickers than this but all not nice one):

went to muji to get pens~

mah bro gave me this keychain which he bought but didnt like cuz he said very ugly): poor spongey! )':

cutest cousin ever.

2011-05-20T22:05:00.001+08:00

my cousin is too cute to not share. ♥

bitch's wants.

2011-05-20T21:16:00.002+08:00

I WANT WANT WANT TO LEARN SKATEBOARDING AND DRUMS.

2011-05-18T17:56:00.002+08:00

SHYT. havent started on HBL yet and it's fucking annoying me that im so lazy and laid-back and relaxed about it. HAVE. TO. START. NOW. okay maybe after this blogpost.

woah i wondered off for like one hour or so hahaha. shyt. okay nvm i went to look at tumblr and found inspiring sites to make me lose weight. fuck it im gonna start now HAHAHA. bye~

NEED TO STUDY OMG

2011-05-06T23:27:00.004+08:00

IM GOING TO FUCKING STUDY TOMORROW.

shall go to the library to motivate myself. should i? ):

Library
Pronunciation: /ˈlʌɪbrəri, -bri/
(i dont really know how to read that. )
noun (plural libraries)
a building or room containing collections of books, periodicals, and sometimes films and recorded music for use or borrowing by the public or the members of an institution:a university library

So... am i going to the library? ):

/edit
turns out i dont need to decide! all libraries are closed for polling day!
looking forward to a rotting day at home! ):

Weird

2011-05-06T17:53:00.000+08:00

finally submitted PI and feels damn good baby! but still slightly worried ):

anyway, OMFG i had two weird dreams today!

-------------boring post starts in 3, 2, 1------------------

1) I was walking around semi-naked around this college campus (im supposedly studying in) with just a towel wrapped around my body and it is apparently the norm there. then i walked past the gym which has glass walls then this guy (supposedly my crush in the dream) ran from the other side of the gym to me (and i saw it and purposely walked slowly hahaha) then he came to tell me not to leave blahblah and hugged me then idk what happened but he became my bf LOL.

And then the other part of this dream turned weird because it was semi-connected. like i was with him then suddenly he was very sad and emo cuz got some guys bully him cuz im his gf cuz that jerk likes me. then i walked with him passed those guys and into some bar/cinema (and i was naked LOL). then it turned into what couples usually do in cinemas lor then the dream ended cuz i was woken up by my maid HAHA.

2) im not sure if its connected to the previous dream but it felt like it was. but it felt so real OMG in this dream i was thinking that it was fake cuz i didnt want it to happen cuz it was more like a nightmare. but no matter how i tried to raise my hands to pinch myself i cannot HAHA. so... my teeth started feeling very tight and i couldnt move my mouth much and was preventing them from falling out then they all came out. like 6 teeth joined together from the bottom left and two from the bottom right. then after it fell out i started crying then my teeth started hurting again, so i decided to use toothbrush to "massage" it. and it sort of felt better for a little while but then they started to want to fall out again! it was horrible and it felt so real!! i was so scared and i couldnt wake myself up ): then more teeth started falling out and i was already freaking out cuz even the dentist dont know what to do for me. then idk what happened, then i woke up and immediately licked my teeth (i know, weird right) to check that they were still there and i sighed a breathe of relief. OMFG this was horrible to the max!! ):

okay this is a very boring post and i just felt like typing it out to make myself feel better):